Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

לֹא תַקִּפוּ פְּאַת רֹאשְׁכֶם וְלֹא תַשְׁחִית אֵת פְּאַת זְקָנֶךָ

mickey mustache twirl 68

Hey, Snidely. Whatcha doing?

“Tying women to things.”

Railroad tracks.

“No. Other things.”

Whatever. Question.

“Shoot.”

What’s it like being the only Jew in the Grateful Dead?

“Simcha Torah is very lonely.”

Sure.

“I’m the only one who eats the hamentashen, so I get fat every year.”

Okay.

“Sometimes when Billy’s drinking, he’ll point out ovens to me.”

That’s crossing a line.

“Probably, yeah. Ya gotta remember: I’m not the Jewiest Jew that ever Jewed. I like the outdoors and blowing shit up and getting in fights: I’m more like an Israeli than a Jew.”

Non-Jews will not see the distinction.

“Fuck ’em. Although I did teach Phil about Kabbalah.”

What do you know about Kabbalah?

“Nothing. But Phil knows less. I tied some yarn around his wrist, slapped some bacon out of his hand, and charged him a grand.”

Nicely done.

“Oh, I also did a klezmer album, Keepin’ it Kosher with Mickey?”

How did it do?

“The album was never released.”

The people need to hear it.

“They probably don’t.”

No.

2 Comments

  1. you might be surprised how many of us follow that distinction

  2. This is the best work ever on this topic.

    Also the only, but still the best.

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