Hey, Snidely. Whatcha doing?
“Tying women to things.”
“No. Other things.”
What’s it like being the only Jew in the Grateful Dead?
“Simcha Torah is very lonely.”
“I’m the only one who eats the hamentashen, so I get fat every year.”
“Sometimes when Billy’s drinking, he’ll point out ovens to me.”
That’s crossing a line.
“Probably, yeah. Ya gotta remember: I’m not the Jewiest Jew that ever Jewed. I like the outdoors and blowing shit up and getting in fights: I’m more like an Israeli than a Jew.”
Non-Jews will not see the distinction.
“Fuck ’em. Although I did teach Phil about Kabbalah.”
What do you know about Kabbalah?
“Nothing. But Phil knows less. I tied some yarn around his wrist, slapped some bacon out of his hand, and charged him a grand.”
“Oh, I also did a klezmer album, Keepin’ it Kosher with Mickey?”
How did it do?
“The album was never released.”
The people need to hear it.
“They probably don’t.”