Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Hat, Trick



You can’t be here. This area needs to be clear for Mickey’s drums and bullshit.

“Am Mickey.”


“Me Mickey. Am to Mickey.”

Still not getting it.

“Mickey buy.”

Godammit, he bought another dwarf.


Is that your name or “please don’t hurt me?” Never mind. It doesn’t matter.

“I am to Mickey now. Mickey play.”

Is he treating you well, at least?

“Food. Bed. Sun. Drum. Mickey play.”

“Mickey dog chase.”


mickey official“Hi, how are you?”

This is the least trustworthy you’ve ever looked.

“That hurts me, man. Why this aggressive stance and posture and emotion and, you know…just the feeling of everything that–

You need to stop petering out.

“Sure. So, what’s up?”

Did you buy a human being?

“Legally, he belongs to the drum. But I bought the drum, yeah.”

Where’d you even find him?

“San Mateo.”

Okay. You have to set him free.

“But I get such a good sound out of him.”

You’re actually playing the little fucker?

“Soft mallets only.”

Okay, listen: something else I need to talk to you about.

“Those sea-lion carcasses that keep showing up in schools?”


“What did you want to talk about?”

Three guesses.


That was such a bad guess that I won’t count it.

“The primal thaumaturgy that was Drums?”


“Want the number for a good thumb-piano guy?”


“I don’t have any extra dead shirts, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

Mickey_SailorNo, I don’t want any Dead shirts.


Nothing weird about that pic?

“Hate to keep talking about Dead shirts, but I am not wearing one. That’s pretty weird.”

This is how you want to play this?

“That may be a Photoshop.”

What about this one?

TBZ6FPX“That is a kufi: I converted to Islam during the set break.”

Nuh-uh. That is a sailor’s cap which, it should be noted, you are wearing incorrectly; you have donned it for Bobby’s song Lost Sailor because you do not like that song and felt it necessary to editorialize the fact while you were half-heartedly playing the tune.

“You can’t know that for certain.’

Billy threw you under Furthur.

“Fuckin’ Billy.”

Benjy, too.

“Fuckin’ Benjy.”

Yeah. I mean, Jesus, Mick: did you bring that hat all the way from California.


Here’s more evidence of your foul deed. LOOK AT IT:


With malice aforethought, Mickey. And, how do you not know how to wear a sailor’s cap?

“I was in the Air Force.”



  1. Honestly this post needs to be registered in the Library of Congress

  2. Ahhhh, thank you.

    All is again right with the world.

  3. Bravo. Awesome sauce on a presidential taco.

  4. “Ya’cobui”?!? Wrong language! I’m astounded you missed an actual celebrity! That looks like the world’s smallest man, Chandra Bahadur Dangi, from right here in Nepal. He’s got his topi, he’s got his darwa sural, he’s got his Mickey-certified drum, now he just needs Bill Walton’s shoulders. BTW, thanks so much for the shout-out back in April after the quake. I’ve been enjoying your posts here by email. (I had another username but lost the login.) Anyway I hope Tyrion-ji enjoyed the drum circle and got a pic with George RR Martin. Cheers from Kathmandu.

  5. if you watch the video of Buffalo ’89 you can see Mickey kind of goofing on Bobby right before Queen Jane like, “this again?”

    In my mind it takes a hell of alot more practice and skill for a someone to sing, play guitar, and be a frontman- all at the same time- than to just sit in the back as a ‘percussionist’, banging away on an exotic assortment of pots, pans, and garbage can lids in a random fashion. I’m actually surprised Mickey never introduced us to the tonal delights of a swine harp.

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