You know why else I love America?
No, but please don’t get weird.
Not weird: patriotic. Only in America am I guaranteed the right to proclaim how much sexy our First Couple has.
Please don’t talk about–
I would three-way the shit outta of those two.
–having a menàge…dammit. That’s not respectful.
I would be totally respectful of the First Couple’s sexual boundaries.
Not what I meant.
I don’t understand where I’m wrong in this: if I were to ogle Mrs. Obama, then: yeah, sexist and wrong and shitty. What I’m saying is that both of them can do stuff to me, or have me do stuff to them.
That’s called equality.
I wanna be the white part in the Oreo.