Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Pants, Axiomatically

  • All trousers are pants.
  • All jeans are pants, but some jeans are not trousers. (White ones.)
  • Some slacks are trousers, but no slacks are jeans.
  • Some shorts are jeans, but not pants, and never slacks.
  • Chaps do not figure into the equation.
  • A slack cannot be a jean, but a trouser can be a slack.
  • Some chinos are khakis, but all khakis are on sale.
  • Yoga pants are not pants; yoga pants are tights; tights are not pants.
  • Tights are tight, but pants are pant.
  • In matters of protocol, Bermudans may view shorts as slacks, but no one else may.
  • On Tuesdays, everything is reversed.


  1. Luther Von Baconson

    October 11, 2016 at 5:29 pm

    @3:39 in

  2. I think you are getting very close to the truth here. In Bermuda, your socks should match the colour of your blazer, and your shorts should be a different colour. For example, a navy blazer, pink shorts and navy socks is fine, but a pink blazer, yellow shorts and white socks would not be considered correct. Green blazer, green shorts and green socks is not acceptable. In all cases the shirt should be white with short sleeves, and the silk tie should feature a vaguely nautical theme. Following these simple rules is the key to acceptance in Bermudian society for the male. That, plus a fortune of at least $25 million.

    From the relatively unknown calypso, Cruising Bermuda:

    There are movie stars
    And the Court Street bars
    Evening breezes sigh
    It’s a paradise
    If you’ve got the price
    But the rents are high

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