Look at those triceps.
“I’d be a boon to any gentleman farmer in need of a wife.”
What do you know of the land?
“That it speaks to me. The fertile patch sings, and the rocky mush grumbles.”
And the seasons? The sky?
“I know them, and they provide meaning. The rains, then the sun, and then the winter.”
“The black dirt?”
“BLACK DIRT LIVE AGAIN!”
Do you have a boyfriend?
“Right behind you.”
God DAMN, what the fuck is that thing?
“WOOP WOOP, NINJA!”
“TELL CAPTAIN FUCK I’M LOOKING FOR HIM!”