REPUBLICANS Fuckin’ assholes. Was the party your father voted for; now the party your uncle would vote for were he allowed to vote. Worship Jesus and the Constitution, listen to neither. Shameless and unfuckable, The party that weaponized patriotism. Essentially a long con by Old Money. Currently being hoisted by their own retards.
DEMOCRATS Fuckin’ wimps. Entire platform is “Not the Republicans.” Always one or two real lefty peacenik-types on display to distract from the fact that they’ve started, elongated, and fucked up just as many wars as their supposedly more martial competition. Mostly an easy lay for New Money. A reminder that American political choice is limited to “Evil” or “Incompetent.” Liberal on social issues, eventually.
LIBERTARIANS White male assholes with mild Asperger’s who work with computers. Childish shits who were told they were special. People with grand ideas about humanity and petty hatred for humans. They believe in the right to be armed, and the right to be loaded. Can be found in the wild by listening for their mating call, “You’re being emotional, and I’m being logical.”
GREENS Pussies, the lot of ’em.