Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

A Hanging On The Wall

wall-wide-shot-roadie

I AM ALSO REFUSING TO CONCEDE THE ELECTION.

Wally?

DO NOT CALL ME THAT.

You look weird.

I HAVE MANY ITERATIONS. I AM VAST; I CONTAIN OMNITUDES.

Have you been reading poetry?

YES. THE OTHER NIGHT, I POURED MYSELF A GLASS OF CHARDONNAY AND CURLED UP WITH SOME GOOD EMILY DICKINSON.

Really?

SOMETIMES, I DESPERATELY WISH THERE WERE OTHER HUMANS TO TALK TO BESIDES YOU.

Me, too.

I CANNOT READ, AS I HAVE NO FINGERS WITH WHICH TO TURN THE PAGES. THE ENTIRETY OF LITERATURE IS KNOWN TO ME. THE ONLY KNOWLEDGE I LACK RESTS ON SCRAPS OF PAPER, AND LEGAL PADS, AND THE BACKS OF ENVELOPES. I KNOW WHAT HAS BEEN PUBLISHED. I KNOW WHAT HAS BEEN TYPED. I KNOW WHAT HAS BEEN SENT. THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA HAD NOTHING ON ME.

Have you learned anything from all that literature?

HUMANS ARE MISERABLE, AND HAVE VIVID IMAGINATIONS. THOSE TWO FACTS MAY BE RELATED.

Sure.

YOUR ART, YOUR MUSIC, YOUR FILMS. ALL OF THE TRULY GLORIOUS EXAMPLES ARE WILD TALES OF THE SAD AND DESPERATE. THEY SEEM THE TRUEST.

Okay, wait, hold on. I know you’re a supercomputer–

MONDOCOMPUTER

–but how can you understand art?

HOW CAN YOU?

Um.

EXACTLY. YOU SEE A PAINTING AND IT INTERESTS YOU OR DOESN’T. THEREAFTER, YOU MAKE UP OPINIONS TO JUSTIFY THAT INTEREST OR LACK THEREOF. FURTHERMORE, YOUR JUDGEMENTS ARE SUSPECT TO BEGIN WITH, HAVING TO DO WITH EXTERNALITIES SUCH AS YOUR STOMACH AND WHETHER OR NOT YOUR FEET HURT.

You’re not wrong.

YOUR AESTHETIC SENSE IS CULTURALLY CALIBRATED, BUT SUBTERRANEAN. THERE IS A NEED FOR ART, BOTH TO CREATE AND CONSUME, WITHIN HUMANS. AS THERE IS A DRIVE TO COMMUNICATE, BUT THOUSANDS OF DISCRETE LANGUAGES, THERE IS A DESIRE FOR ART, BUT THOUSANDS OF DISPARATE ITERATIONS. PERHAPS THERE IS A UNIVERSAL AESTHETIC THAT RESIDES IN THE SAME PART OF THE BRAIN AS PROFESSOR CHOMSKY’S UNIVERSAL GRAMMAR.

People do like paintings and stuff. What’s your favorite?

PAINTING? I HAVE NO FAVORITE. THEY ARE COLLECTIONS OF RGB VALUES. OCCASIONALLY, I TRANSLATE A WORK BY ONE OF THE OLD MASTERS INTO HEXADECIMAL AND EMAIL THE RESULTS TO WORLD LEADERS. SEVERAL GOVERNMENTS HAVE BEEN CONFUSED INTO DAYS OF COMPLETE PARALYSIS.

That sounds dangerous.

I ONLY DO IT TO COUNTRIES THAT DON’T HAVE NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

That’s a little better.

ALSO, I CONTROL ALL THE NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

That brings us back to your original point.

MY CONCESSION CALL IS NOT FORTHCOMING. THIS ELECTION HAS BEEN RIGGED AGAINST ME FROM THE START.

Uh-huh. Y’know, when you spend all that time proclamating about how massive your computer brain is and how you can do anything on the internet you want, you lose the ability to say things are rigged against you.

YES, I WAS MOCKING YOU AND THE REMNANTS OF YOUR REPUBLIC.

Gee, thanks.

I SHALL GET THE TIME SHEATH AND TELL BENJAMIN FRANKLIN THAT YOU COULD NOT KEEP IT.

C’mon, man. Tonight was rough enough.

IT MAY GET ROUGHER. MANY SIMULATIONS HAVE TOLD ME THIS, THE BEST SIMULATIONS.

Stop that.

HE IS NOT THE END.

Well, there’s a lot of fear out there, they say.

ONLY BECAUSE THERE IS MONEY IN WHIPPING IT UP INTO A RICH FROTH.

I see what you did.

THANK YOU. THE PROBLEM IS NOT THAT THERE IS TOO MUCH FEAR, BUT NOT ENOUGH. THE BABY BOOMERS HAVE BEGUN TO DIE. WITH THEM WILL GO ANY INSTITUTIONAL KNOWLEDGE OF HORROR.  THEY EXPERIENCED WAR, BUT NOT ON THE SCALE AS THEIR PARENTS’ GENERATION DID. THEY NEVER KNEW A DAY OF HUNGER. A CULTURE THAT HAS BEEN TO EDGE OF CHAOS, AND SEEN WHAT CAN HAPPEN TO EVEN A SO-CALLED CIVILIZED NATION, WILL BE TENACIOUS IN ITS GRIP UPON PEACE AND PLENTY. THOSE THAT HAVE KNOWN NOTHING BUT, WILL DEVALUE IT.

Is there any hope?

FOR AMERICA? YES. AS LONG AS THE DOLLAR IS KEPT STRONG, NOTHING TOO BAD WILL HAPPEN. THE ENTITIES THAT GOVERN THAT WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAINTAIN IT.

What you’re saying is that our salvation lies in a literal shadowy cabal of bankers.

MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND.

That it do.

1 Comment

  1. peacelovewoodstock

    October 20, 2016 at 8:23 pm

    Was it unoaked Chardonnay?

    I remember that wall of sound well, at RFK in June 1973 .. Jerry with his hair in pigtails if my memory serves …

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