Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

A Knight Shouldn’t Be Treated This Way

bobby paul blurry.png

“Bob, why is everything so blurry?”

“Could be a metaphor about artistic cohesion and the waning thrust of creativity.”

“The universe is doing metaphors?”

“This one.”

“Bob?”

“Yoko?”

“Really: stop that.”

“Sure, sure.”

“What’s going on again?”

“Semi-fictionality. Kinda like a pocket reality? Character free of context, but bound to narrative. Plus a time machine.”

“Bob.”

“It’s a Time Sheath, if you wanna get technical about it.”

“Bob.”

“Also, dead people aren’t dead. Well, they’re dead, but they still come around.”

“If you see one of those Dancing Bears wandering around, that’s probably Brent. He’s a big fan. Or it might be a demon.”

“Uh-huh. I don’t understand.”

“That’s natural. This is actually one of those deals where the more you explain it, the less sense it makes. Helps if you’re tripping.”

“Tripping? On acid?”

CUT TO: BACKSTAGE

“You dosed Sir Paul McCartney? I dosed Sir Paul McCartney. Jesus, how many people dosed Sir Paul McCartney? We should check on him.

CUT TO: BOBBY AND PAUL

“I don’t do that anymore, Bob.”

“Oh, yeah, no. Me neither. No, no.”

“I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“I know some jokes.”

CELL PHONE NOISE

CELL PHONE NOISE

“You gonna get that?”

“This is Sir Paul. How did you get this number?”

“Please hold for Taylor Swift.”

“Excuse me?”

taylor-swift-dumped-calvin-harris-over-the-phone-ftr

“Oh. My. GOD! Sir Paul McCartney. I am your biggest fan in the world and I have all your records. Plus I got in full hair and makeup for this call.”

“I’m a little busy, love.”

“I will FUCK YOU WITH YOUR OWN WIG if you don’t date me immediately, YOU PASTY, SHIT-EYED, LIMEY FUCK!”

“What?”

“My numbers Jew and my press homo say I gotta suck your iron-deficient cock on TMZ to get my Q back up. I’m sending my jet.”

BRITISH DIAL TONE EVEN THOUGH BRITISH PHONES NO LONGER DO THAT (I ASUUME)

“That was Taylor Swift? She is coming to kidnap me.”

“Well, then: lucky you’re here. I’ve got experience with this kind of bullshit.”

“Why is my spine tingling, Bob?”

“Is it? Huh. Could be your Beatle-Sense.”

“No, Bob.”

3 Comments

  1. SmokingLeather

    July 20, 2016 at 1:43 am

    And if the phrase “Beatle-Sense” made me giggle on this particular week, what of it?

  2. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    July 20, 2016 at 12:06 pm

    Hey, that’s Pigpen’s new girlfriend!

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