Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

A Moment With Sean Spicer

Please come out from the bush, Sean.


C’mon, buddy.

“Are you a reporter?”


“Are you going to be mean to me?”

Probably, but you deserve it.

“Not coming out. Can you bring me some gum?”

Absolutely not.

“I don’t think the president likes me.”

He doesn’t “like” anyone. You were useful to him, and now you’re not.

“Ooh, there’s a squirrel in here.”

“Sean, the New York Times is reporting that James Comey asked for more money for the Russia investigation right before he was fired. Any comment on that, and do you have any nuts?”

“I’m coming out of the bush.”

Fuck you, Sean. Answer the squirrel’s question.

“The squirrel is fake news.”

“Don’t call me fake news, you Baby Huey-looking motherfucker!”


“Oh, Lord!”

Cover your eyes, Sean!

“Help me, White Jesus!”

“There is no White Jesus, only squirrel!”

I’m gonna get going.


Okay, then.


  1. That bush has an ass that won’t quit.

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