Hey, Pope Francis. Whatcha doing?
“I’m-a wearin’ da hat.”
That’s a heck of a hat, Your Holiness.
“It’s-a gotta my name on it!”
I see that. Why is it S.S. Francis?
“They think I’m-a da boat.”
“You see-a dis lady’s hands?”
“She gotta those hands from-a da work. Your hands look-a like dat?”
Not at all.
“No, no. You got-a da soft hands. Should put-a dem together and-a pray more. Give-a da thanks instead of pulling on-a your pud.”
I already got this lecture from God, Your Holiness.
“Si, si. Pigpen probably gonna come and-a yell at you soon, too.”
Most likely. Are these folks even Christians?
“Pssh, what-a do I care? I’m about-a da love. I love-a dem, I love-a you. You don’t-a make it easy, though.”
I’ve been told.
“You know what-a da difference is between-a da saint and-a da sinner?”
“Effort. Do-a some work, kid.”
Yes, sir. Are those acorns?
“Si, si. Smells-a like a rich lady’s bathroom. Is-a nice.”
Good to hear. I like that guy’s makeup.
“I think he’s-a da Juggalo.”
I don’t know about that, Your Holiness.
“He no-a knows how-a da magnets work.”
“Rich people always-a messing with-a him.”
“He’s got-a da hatchet.”
Okay, maybe he’s a Juggalo.
“Si, si. Whoop, whoop.”
Amen, Your Holiness.