Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

A Quiet Moment With Bruce Hornsby

bruce-hornsby-29Hey, Bruce. Whatcha doing?

“Getting in touch with nature, white guy-style.”

And that is?

“Surveying my property while mulling over the developer’s offer on it.”

It’s not quite the relationship with Mother Earth that, say, the Arapahoe had.

“Arapahoe didn’t have payroll to make.”

Granted. You looking forward to July?

“Sure. It’s gonna be fun. Bobby and Mickey sent me down to where they’ve been buying their clothes all these years–”

You went to Little Aleppo?

“–and they hooked your boy up. Check out my steez.”

bruce_hornsby“Am I on fleek? How much fleek do I have? Rate my fleek.”

“On a scale of one to ten, with one being the lowest and ten being the highest: where is my fleek? You’ve got a good eye for that, fleek.”

“You haven’t said anything.”

I have not, no.

“So: it’s so on fleek that you’re speechless?”

I have nothing to say; if you choose to categorize that as being speechless, I shall not stop you.

“Am I or am I not–”

Please stop saying fleek, Bruce Hornsby.

“–on fleek?”


  1. Please tell me that’s a funny trick of the light, and he didn’t majorly pee down his left pant leg.

    I said PLEASE.

  2. I always thought Bruce’s face resembled a frying pan.

  3. I have heard Ozzy is incontinent… that’s why he does the bucket of water over the head thing each show, to hide the fact that he pisses himself.

    I can’t stand that guy.

  4. Anchovy Rancher

    March 12, 2015 at 10:45 am

    Trust me, it’s piss. It’s amazing what whizzing a double mocha latte’ down one’s leg does for a guy as they get older.

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