“Priming the pump.” You read this today, I’m sure. Basketball Head used the phrase in an interview with The Economist, then: A) asked if the reporter had heard it before, then B) claimed to have made up the phrase. This is surface-level funny because: A)reporter from The Economist would know “prime the pump;” and B) no you fucking didn’t, you bloated toadstool full of vomit.

But those are shallow chuckles. We know Trump doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about, and we know he’s a liar. The true funny lies in the fact that what he’s endorsing is utter anathema to his party. Priming the pump is a Keynesian idea: a government dumping money into the economy to stimulate it is the precise opposite of the financial belief of the Republican Party, which generally subscribes to theories of a more Austrian provenance. (Let’s not make the easy joke here.)

And now I’m going to banish the slob from my life and go to Little Aleppo.