Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

A Tale Of Two Beards

img_3344Hey, handsome.

“Oh, hey. Howdy.”

Not you, Bob.


I mean, the guy’s got dimples.

“I have dimples. And a butt-chin.”

And they’re buried under five inches of hair.

“Lukas has a beard.”

Yes, he does. It’s a Green Arrow beard. Maybe a Tony Stark. Whichever superhero it is, it’s a complement to his face. Your beard is eating your face, Bob.

“It’s a little scruffy, I’ll give you that.”

I want to ask you how your day at the gold claim went.

“I get it.”

You could lose your keys in there.


You could lose your way in there.

“Have I ever told you to shut the fuck up?”

No. The other guys do all the time.



  1. This is exactly why Neighborhood Watch groups form.

  2. I think I’ve made the comparison before, but was the Onceler from The Lorax inspired by Bob? Or, perhaps Bob’s look was inspired by the movie.

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