What a specific rando you were that day,
Naked Pole Guy.
Fame has been earned with far less coin.
Were you with friends?
Did you go it alone?
An isolated incident,
Or were you known for nudity?
(Every group has one.)
Did you get a splinter in your dick?
With the umbrella in Dealey Plaza,
Kissing the nurse in Times Square,
Who never said his name was D.B. Cooper,
There are levels to mitzvah–
(Jews enjoy lists)
–the highest form leaves no signature.
To forfeit the naming rights,
Naked Pole Guy:
That is the highest form of mitzvah, and
Naked Pole Guy,
On that day your form was the highest.
I heard you were still in Oregon;
You owned a borax mine,
And many head of cattle.
The internet says you’re abroad:
Scuttlebutt has you in Florida;
That sounds right.
May the sun only stroke you,
And gravity not bother.
May your dick not get splintered,
And don’t ever come down.