EXT. SMALLVILLE – DAY
EVERYTHING is ON FIRE. The BODIES OF WOMEN AND CHILDREN litter the street.
A DRIVERLESS GOOD HUMOR TRUCK careens down the STREET and RUNS OVER an ORPHAN.
SUPERMAN has also SALTED THE EARTH so nothing will ever GROW again.
A COMPUTER-GENERATED MONSTER lies dead at SUPERMAN’S FEET.
MUSIC CUE: SPIRIT IN THE SKY BY NORMAN GREENBAUM, AGAIN
LOIS LANE crawls out from under a PILE OF CHARRED CORPSES. She is COMPLETELY UNHARMED.
You killed a lot of people, Clark.
I killed the monster, Lois. Thanks for hitting it with
that baseball bat. Really contributed.
The thing kept trying to leave the town. And you
stopped him, repeatedly.
And now I’m super thirsty. I could go for
an Amstel Light.
Why didn’t you throw it into orbit?
Or freeze it with your cold-breath, or disintegrate him
with your laser eyes? Or, like, a million other things
other than fighting in the population center?
And surprisingly low in calories.
WONDER WOMAN walks into frame. She is HOLDING an AMSTEL LIGHT.
MUSIC CUE: SHE’S A LADY by TOM JONES
Hi, there. I’m here now.
Awesome. But I already fought the monster.
I didn’t know you were coming. You should have called.
Well, I guess we could fight each other for no good reason.
Huh. Um, yeah. Okay. Sure.
MUSIC CUE: SATURDAY NIGHT’S ALL RIGHT FOR FIGHTING by ELTON JOHN
They ASSUME FIGHTING POSES in the SLOWEST-MO ALLOWED BY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS.
What’s your mother’s name?
I don’t technically have a mother. I was
made from clay and magic, and raised on
Well, how about that.