Thoughts On The Dead

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A Transcript Of Donald Trump’s Response To The Orlando Shooting

(OFF-MIKE)

“I was going to talk about Crooked Hillary. Big speech. Kick off the week with a bang. I had so many things to say. New nicknames. In these times of radical Islamic terrorism, she would be a terrible choice. Plus Benghazi. Had a whole section on Benghazi. I’ll get to it. Maybe next week. Although she might be in jail next week. Always a show with that family.

(ON-MIKE)

“Her Secret Service people say terrible things about her. The worst kind of names, I won’t repeat them. Like ‘witch’ but not that word. You know the word. Terrible things about her. Doesn’t have the temperament. Folds under pressure. Drinker? They didn’t say if she was a drinker, but that was the impression they gave. Loud eater. I’ve heard that with my own ears, and I have the best ears.

“We’ll do that next week. Tuesday, maybe. Anyway, today we’re here because I was right. I am very good at being right and what happened in Orlando proves that. A radical terrorist Islamic entered a nightclub to kill LGBT people. I’m not going to say the killer’s name, because I can’t pronounce it. It’s one of those names. Hillary’s best friend and advisor has one of those names. Huma Abedin. Married to a very sleazy man, a real low-life. Those two ladies have a lot in common.

“Back to the shooting. Tragic. Very, very bad. I now ask for a moment of silence.

“Thank you. I now ask that the reporter from the Washington Post leave the room. Get out. I’m not kidding. You have a very dishonest paper. Unfair. Not right what you do. Listen if you won’t leave peacefully, then there’s things that could happen. Okay. Could someone take care of this? Okay. Okay. There you go.

“I now ask for a moment of silence for the reporter from the Washington Post.

“Thank you. This weekend, an Afghan person targeted a gay nightclub and did what the Koran programs him to do, which is shoot at the GTLB community.  He was very Afghan. Father was Afghan. Mother. We let ’em in. Dumb! Did Obama sign the papers? We’ll never know. Maybe he asked Hillary to keep the records. Gone forever. The way things are: we’re being incompetent, and I’m gonna be smart. Watch me. Gonna turn around in one day. I put my hand on the Bible, and boom. Smart.

“We gotta figure out what’s going on. Who’s coming in? Are they coming in from good countries? Or terrorist countries? What about rape countries? I haven’t talked about Mexico in a while. That’ll be next week with the Hillary thing. Half Hillary/Half Mexico. Tuesday. Great speech. I’m gonna use the teleprompter, but unlike Obama I read from the teleprompter very well. Every time I do, all the technicians say ‘Mr. Trump, you do that so well.’ That’s true.

“It’s gotta stop. No more. If I am elected President, I will deal with this. I’m gonna be very strong and smart, you just wait. The strongest. We gotta shut it down. Close shop for a while until we get some kind of idea what’s going on. There’s gonna be a total ban on immigration from a lot of places.

(APPLAUSE.)

“Absolutely. We have to. This radical Islamic terrorism is already in. Maybe the waitress at the diner is a terrorist. Is Huma Abedin a radical Islamic terrorist? We don’t know! How can we go forward like this? Every day, tens of thousands of people from these countries come into America. We don’t even do paperwork. True! Just let them in! Obama said that paperwork would be offensive. Political correctness is killing us, ladies and gentlemen.

(APPLAUSE.)

“Not the gun. Now, you’re going to hear a lot of whining about the gun. Wasn’t the gun that killed the BLTG community. Political correctness. You know where he got that gun? He was issued it when he came over here. At the border. No paperwork and a gun. Might be offensive to his culture if we didn’t. Thanks, Obama. Four more years of that? No, thank you.

(APPLAUSE.)

“Thank you, thank you. Yes, he’s a terrible president. Hillary would be worse. Much worse. Can’t even imagine. Guns for Afghan terrorists, but no guns for you. She is on record as saying she’s going to get rid of the Second Amendment. I have seen video of her saying this many, many times. She becomes President–God help us–and she’s coming for your guns. She wants us to be like Europe, where many people have died. Even cops! Terrorists get free machine guns, and cops stand there with their, you know, with something in their hands. Hillary probably wants to take that, too.

(APPLAUSE.)

“I will defeat radical Islamic terrorism but Hillary won’t even say it. Sad! Says a lot of other things. Said to a lot of women, ‘Here’s ten grand. Now shut up.’ Said that quite a bit. ‘How do I wash Vince Foster’s blood off my pantsuit?’ She said that at least once. Maybe she’s killed more than one Vince Foster? You never know with Crooked Hillary.

“She’s elected President and these radical Muslims will be having a party. They’ll be making that sound. You know which sound, I’m not going to do it. Why does Hillary hate the TCBY community and want to see it murdered by political correctness? My tremendous business employs many, many gays. I’ve got the best gays. They come to me and ask why Crooked Hillary wants them dead, even though there are many rumors about her being a lesbian herself. That’s what they say!

(APPLAUSE.)

“I’m just telling you what my gays say to me. And that’s what we’re here today to talk about, not Hillary and her many crimes. The terrible thing that happened in Orlando that I correctly predicted. Terrible. Some good Muslims. Gotta be a couple. They’re not working with us. I’m a man you can make a deal with. But there’s other options. Ever see that movie Independence Day? Great movie. Real fun. Maybe Muslims are like the aliens in that movie. Blow up Mecca and they stop acting crazy. I don’t know. I don’t know. We could find out.

“Hillary, who is a terrible person, is not a friend to the WBCN community. Not like Trump. I have been to many gay weddings and my gift is always the largest. When Hillary goes to a gay wedding, she brings a terrorist with her who murders everyone. True! Three or four times. That’s political correctness, and it’s killing us and our gays.

(APPLAUSE.)

“Thank you. Yes. Our gays. We will make America great again. We will get good deals with China. We will stop being raped by Mexicans. We will have a decent-looking First Lady. We will protect our gays by nuking Mecca. We will throw the reporter from CNN out of the room. We will build a wall and maybe a moat. We will make America great again.

(APPLAUSE.)

That’s great. Thanks. You’re great.”

2 Comments

  1. As a member of the TCBY community, I find this offensive.

  2. hugh.c.mcbride

    June 14, 2016 at 12:50 pm

    The best and worst thing I can say about this post is that it is 100% believable that the GOP nominee for president would say exactly this.

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