Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

A Vote For Kreutzmann Is A Vote For Dancing In The Streets


Oh, this won’t end well.

“Thoughts on my Ass!”

You’re not giving up on that nickname, are you?

“You thinking about my ass?”

Literally, no.


I suppose.

“There ya go. Ass! A vote for Billy is a vote for a chicken in every pot, and chicks and pot.”

I can get behind that platform, actually.

“Gotta lot of ideas. Working on a flat tax.”

Everyone in the country pays the same tax rate?

“Nah. Everybody chips in to buy flat ladies boob implants.”

That sounds right. What about your foreign policy?

“Skank is skank.”

I wasn’t asking who you would plow.

“Elvira. I’d make her the mistress of my dork.”


“Ah, I’m just fucking with ya.”


“Notched her already. ’83. A lot of that boobage is push-up bra.”

Makes sense.

“But a lot of it ain’t! I cigarette boated her.”

What’s that?

“Like motorboating, but much faster.”


“BLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLB. That’s the sound it makes.”

Got that. Can we get back to voting?

“No, I wanna talk about tits some more.”

I’m done.


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