Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Ad, Nauseam

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This picture’s been going around, and it’s primary source evidence of the nadir of the Dead’s guitaristic evolution. The Moduluses (Modula? Moduloi?) were drastically uncool tech-y, gadget-y, pocket protector-y instruments, plus they were clearly named by the twelve-year-old son of the company’s owner. Blackknife! Quantum! Other guitars in the Modulus line included:

  • Fistkicker
  • Ninjalien. (It’s an alien ninja. Or a ninja who goes to another planet, and then he‘s the alien.)
  • Laser.
  • Funkynunchuck.
  • Tank made out of dicks. (And here I must apologize, Enthusiasts. “Tank made out of dicks” doesn’t fit the premise: the others are absurd, but still follow the rules of the bit. But I include it because in the writing–if you can call it that–of this little list, I asked myself, “What would a 12-year-old boy think is cool?” and the first thing that popped into my head was “tank made out of dicks,” and it made me laugh so hard that I called an audible on the premise¬† so I could share it with you.)

Phil has stuck with the headless guitars, mostly, since then; I stand by my distrust of the configuration. There’s something wrong about it. You know when you’re talking with a person and you feel uneasy and can’t put your finger on it, but then later you realize that the person you were talking to was actually several raccoons? Headless guitars are just like that.

12 Comments

  1. Tank made of out if dicks. Hilarious…and extra hilarious because my wife just made me stop saying it.

  2. Hey Martin, care to talk about your Blackknife?

  3. “Phil has stuck with the headless guitars, mostly, since then . . .”

    Do you mean Phil LESH? I don’t think so.

  4. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    September 30, 2016 at 9:22 am

    Thanks for the big version of the ad!

  5. Moduli.

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