Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Ain’t Got Time For Rolling Stone’s Critic, No

Rolling Stone has the first review of Long Strange Trip: Electric Choogaloo (plus a report on the Boy’s performance at their party) and it’s a complete blowjob; the writer’s name is David Fear, which is clearly made up, and he loved it. Go read the thing.

TotD is disappointed, however, to note that there are several inaccuracies in the article that I would now like to correct:

  • The Grateful Dead did not form in Cleveland in 1991.
  • Bobby is still alive.
  • Garcia is dead.
  • The author’s implication that Keith was D.B. Cooper is belied by a quick glance at the Dead’s touring schedule. (Wait, no: he totally could have done it. D.B. Cooper hijacked a plane flying from Seattle to Portland on 11/24/71; the Dead played Los Angeles on the 20th and didn’t have another show until December 1st in Boston. Keith is almost certainly D.B. Cooper. I apologize for my error.)
  • No one in the organization has even been to the world-famous Texas water Park Schlitterbahn, let alone started a riot in the lazy river.
  • The Wall of Sound did not gain sentience and iterate into a semi-fictional universe where it now serves as the sound system for a magical movie theater.
  • Woody Harrelson was introduced to Bobby through Snake Tee-Shirt.
  • The Grateful Dead did not fire Michael Anthony and make Trixie play bass.
  • The internationally-recognized capital of Israel is Tel Aviv, not Mt. Tamalpais.
  • The documentary’s director, Amir Bar-Lev, has not “lost his mind” and “been confined to an insane asylum;” he is “exhausted” and will be voluntarily spending time in “an insane asylum.”
  • The author correctly notes that the film is four hours long, but I am quite positive that two of those hours are not the 80’s comedy Teen Wolf.
  • Phil never owned a turkey farm.
  • John Popper does not play the harp: he plays many harmonicas, whether you’d like him to or not.
  • Mickey holds no patents whatsoever, let alone several dozen in spectrophotometry.
  • The Grateful Dead never played Burkina Faso.

2 Comments

  1. NoThoughtsOnDead

    January 25, 2017 at 1:58 pm

    From the review, ‘…clocking in at just under four hours, or two mid-Seventies live renditions of “Dark Star’ …! If he’d written “two mid-Seventies second sets,” we could forgive him. But this kind of casual ignorance CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO STAND. (Actually, it’s stupid enough to be cute.)

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