Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Ain’t Nobody In The Bed But You

What?

“Hello. I’m Paul Stanley, and this is my bedroom.”

Okay.

“How about I play you an acoustic version of Tears Are Fallin’?”

Nuh-uh.

“Kick off your shoes, and come on up. Lotta room.”

No, thank you.

“Have you eaten?”

What the fuck are you doing here?

“Carved out some quality time for you.”

Why?

“We’ve grown apart. Come up on the bed.”

Stop this, Paul Stanley.

“Such a big bed. Room for all sorts of things.”

I don’t understand what’s happening.

“I’ve joined Dead & Company.”

You haven’t.

“Sure. Me and Robby–”

Bobby.

“–were talking and we decided that our fanbases overlap so much that it’s a no-brainer.”

Your fanbases do not overlap.

“What about you?”

I’m an outlier.

“Come lie on the bed.”

This is odd.

“It’s happening.”

Which part? Where you join the Dead or where you molest me?

“Both.”

Neither.

“Half has already come true. Josh is here.”

What?

Is that still your bedroom?

“I have a very fancy bedroom.”

Wow. Is that Kevin Bacon?

“I have very fancy friends.”

Wow. John?

“Yeah? Oh, hey.”

What happened to Barbra?

“Cheating on her.”

Sure. Is Paul Stanley in Dead & Company?”

“Yeah.”

Did you set this all up just to be in a storyline?

“I really felt like you didn’t give my album enough attention.”

DIAL TONE NOISE EVEN THOUGH NO ONE WAS ON THE PHONE

“Hello?

“Yo?”

“I didn’t know he could leave.”

8 Comments

  1. The Central Shaft

    April 27, 2017 at 10:41 pm

    The bed is regular sized, Stanley is not.

    That second pic, he’s just standing on the table.

  2. How long has Paul Stanley been Richard Grieco?

  3. Thoughts on Kiss would be even more epic than Thoughts on Van Halen was,

    DoitDoitDoitDoitDoitDoitDoitDoitDoitDoitDoitDoitDoitDoitDoit.

    Hugs and kisses,

    -p.

  4. allthebeerscombine

    April 28, 2017 at 8:20 am

    .

  5. We’re no strangers to love . . .

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