26. C The most useless letter, C does nothing that either K or S could not do; C also fucks up where I and E go, except for sometimes, but sometimes is actually most of the time because the “cie” sequence is more common than the “cei” one. A few good states and curse words start with C, but that’s it.
25. Q Fuck you, Q. Why do you get a sidekick letter, Q? Is U your Robin, Q? Is U the sidecar to your motorcycle, Q? Holy shit, Q: do you own U? Are you a slaver, Q? Also, many annoying famous people’s names begin with Q, plus I like to play a Boggle-ripoff game on my phone, and when Q pops up, the whole round is ruined: even if you luck into a next-door U, then you still need another vowel to make a word. Q is helpless on its own.
24. W Get your own name, W. And get a name that’s not a lie: you are two V’s, not two U’s, W.
23. E This is a shocker, I know. E is the most common letter in the English language; that’s why it’s at #23: it’s just common.
How much longer you going to keep this up?
This particular variation on the theme, or the theme itself?
What’s number one?
If you hadn’t interrupted me, you’d know.