Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

All The Verbs Used To Describe Chris Rock’s Oscar Monologue

  • Slayed.
  • Destroyed.
  • Demolished.
  • Decimated.
  • Savagely fucked to death while maintaining eye contact.
  • Kidnapped and sold to foreign perverts.
  • Obliterated.
  • Annihilated.
  • Hiroshima’d
  • Gave every racist watching the Zika virus.
  • Read.
  • Threw shade.
  • Barnswallowed.
  • Teabagged.
  • Threw into the sun.
  • Curbstomped.
  • Ate while alive, genitals first.
  • Something something epic.
  • Epic something something.
  • Something epic something.

Did you even watch?

Of course not.

So you watched the highlight clips this morning?

Fuck, no. I know that Joe Biden sang a song about rape.

Okay.

I know Margot Robbie is astonishingly beautiful, plus she lies about her age.

Shocker.

And I know that Leo shoved his Oscar into several models last night.

Yeah, almost definitely.

5 Comments

  1. Slid gently. Not shoved. He’s experienced, and a gentleman.

  2. Winner for best Oscar threesome?

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