Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Amir And The North Visitor

“Why are we so happy?”

“We? I don’t know about ‘we.’ You look amused; I look happy as shit.”

“True. You look like a kid on Christmas morning.”

“More like Hanukah evening. But only the first one.”

“I thought you got gifts all eight nights.”

“First night is for the big toy. Second night is underwear and chocolate. Third night is a showing of Fiddler on the Roof. After that, everybody just kinda peters out.”

“We have something similar, y’know.”


“Canukah. Commemorates the time when our proud ancestors were snowed in and thought they only had enough poutine for one day.”

“But it lasted eight?”



“The exchange rate.”

“Sure. Dave?”


“How did you start archiving?”

“My room was neat as hell growing up.”

“Makes sense.”

“Right? I always knew where everything was, and that’s pretty much the core competency of the job.”

“Can’t be an archivist if you just leave everything in a big pile.”


“I can only imagine your sock drawer.”

“It’s been featured in several publications.”


“What about you, Amir? How did you get into directing?”

“Got my start with Roger Corman.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No. Did a movie for him called Satan’s Attic. It was Roddy McDowell’s last picture and Andie McDowell’s first. Shot in in Baja for $1.2 million, and that’s including the motorcycle race and setting that broccoli farm on fire.”

“There was a scene with a flaming broccoli farm?”

“No, Roddy McDowell set the fire while he was drunk. We had to pay the farmer.”


“When he wasn’t drinking, Roddy was a prince.”

“What about when he was?”

“I just told you: he lit other strangers’ farms ablaze. You couldn’t extrapolate from that?”

“I thought maybe it was an accident.”

“Broccoli isn’t flammable. He had to prep the area for hours. Every step was a conscious, drunken, dickish choice.”


“Threw the loveliest dinner parties, though.”

“I’ll bet.”


  1. I am not ashamed to admit that I hit up Google to see if that Roddy MacDowell/Andie MacDowell thing was true.

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    July 15, 2017 at 11:20 am

    what’s Dave got going on there?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.