“LOOKY HERE, MAN. GOT ME A MINI-E.”

Elvis, give the kid back.

“HE IS MAH WARD NOW. AH AM TH’ HERO OF TH’ COMIC BOOK, AN’ AH HAVE THIS BOY TO RAISE IN MAH CRIME-FIGHTING WAYS.”

Don’t Robin him, Elvis.

“TOO LATE! THE ENROBINNING PROCESS HAS BEGUN!”

Dammit.

“AH WILL TEACH HIM TO PICK LOCKS, AN’ WEAR CAPES. ISS HIS DESTINY, MAN. HIS PARENTS WERE CIRCUS ACROBATS WHO DIED TRAGICALLY.”

They fell during their routine?

“CANCER.”

Oh.

“STILL SAD, BUT NOT AS VISUALLY DRAMATIC.”

Tough to draw.

“SO AH HAVE CLAIMED TH’ BOY.”

What does “claimed” mean?

“THERE HAS BEEN NO PAPERWORK DONE.”

Right. Elvis, give the kid back.

“NAW, MAN. ‘SIDES, HE’S HAVIN’ HISSELF A GOOD TIME. STAYIN’ UP ALL NIGHT SHOOTIN’ GUNS AT TH’ RHYTHM SECTION, RENTIN’ OUT MOVIE THEATERS AN’ DRIVIN’ THREE-WHEELERS THROUGH ‘EM. KID’S HAVIN’ A BALL. TURNS OUT MAH LIFESTYLE IS PERFECTLY SUITED F’R A 8-YEAR-OLD BOY.”

Yeah, you can’t raise children like that. It’s not good for them.

“DON’ YOU ACCUSE ME O’ NO NEGLECTIN’-TYPE BEHAVIOR! ROBIN’S SAFETY IS MAH FIRST CONCERN!”

Wait, his name’s really Robin?

“AH GOT NO IDEA WHAT HIS NAME IS! HE’S MAH ROBIN!”

Oh, God, you’re serious.

“HE’S GETTIN’ REAL GOOD WITH TH’ ELVISRANGS, MAN. PUT ONE IN CHARLIE HODGE’S THIGH FROM ALL TH’ WAY DOWN TH’ HALL.”

Elvis, this is a human child we’re talking about. He needs to be in school, or a factory.

“SCHOOL’S OUT. AND ROBIN HERE IS TEACHIN’ CLASS.”

If school is out, then no one would be teach–

“DON’T YOU CORRECT MY EUPHEMISTICAL INCONSISTENCIES! HOW DARE YOU, MAN! I HAVE FINE LINENS, AND MANY RINGS! WHERE YOU GET OFF…HOOO. HOOO. HOOO.”

Elvis! What’s wrong!?

“ISS MAH HEEBIE-JEEBIES. THEY ATTACKIN’ ME!”

Oh, no.

“DO AH LOOK SWEATY?”

You looked sweaty from around 1968 on.

“OH, LORD! ROBIN! RUN AN’ FETCH DOC! RUN, BOY!”

Don’t send children to find Dr. Nick. Keep all children away from Dr. Nick.

“DR. NICK TOOK HISSELF A VACATION. NEW GUY FILLIN’ IN THIS WEEK.”

Who?

“Heeeeeey, brother!”

That guy?

“HE CAME HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.”

By whom?

“FOZZIE BEAR IS A DEAR FRIEND OF TH’ KING’S. AH HAVE ATTENDED SERVICES AT HIS TEMPLE, AND HE HAS ENTERED MAH DOJO.”

Please see a normal doctor.

“AH AIN’ NO NORMAL MAN!”

True.

“AN’ ALSO, NORMAL DOCTORS ALL SAY THERE AIN’T NO SUCH THING AS HEEBIE-JEEBIES.”

Weird.

“LOTTA QUACKS OUT THERE.”

You said it. Give the kid back.

“NAW, HE’S MINE.”