Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

An Arch-Enemy Returned, Kinda

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Hello, my name is Thoughts on the Dead. You can call me TotD. I like your sunglasses, and your eyeballs.

“You almost got to the end of your statement without being weird.”

The word “necklace” is half lie: it’s around your neck, but there’s no lace involved.

“Do you talk to actual women like this?”

I don’t talk to actual women.

“You totally should.”

Well, thank you for encouraging me.

“Not me, though.”

Your hair reminds me of a warm, safe place.

“Where as a child you roamed?”

I didn’t do a ton of roaming as a kid. Liked staying inside then, too.

“Will you go buy me ice cream?”

You want ice cream?

“I didn’t say that.”

Was “go” the key word in that sentence?

“Little bit.”


Did you just shush me?

“That wasn’t me.”

“SHHHHH! Shhh! Shhh.”

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

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NEMESIS! You’re the guy who shushed me and Martin in Chicago!

“No, I’m not.”

“But I am doing his job now.”



Fuck you, Shushface.

“That’s Commodore Shushface to you.”

You know Captain Fuck?

“Answers to me. Man’s a disgrace to the uniform.”

He wasn’t wearing a uniform.

“That’s because he lost it, which is the disgrace.”




  1. Luther Von Baconson

    August 1, 2016 at 7:14 am

    le-roy boy

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