Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

An Exclusive Interview With Acne Studios

Latest in the ever-increasing pool of fashion houses hopping on the Grateful Dead bandwagon is Acne Studios from Stockholm. TotD is happy to to be speaking with the two Stockholm-based owners. Hello, gentlemen. What are your names?

“I’m Bjorn.”

“And I’m Bjorg.”

Great. How did you decide to integrate the Dead’s iconography into your clothing?

“Well, first let us make clear that we hate the Grateful Dead.”

“Oh, yes. Terrible, terrible music.”

“And the people who listen to them.”

“Terrible, terrible people.”

What kind of music do you two listen to?

“Albanian folk-ska. You’ve never heard of it.”

“Apartment music.”

Apartment music?

“House music for midgets. You’ve never heard of it.”

Sure. But back to the question.

“We saw Keith Ablow’s latest line, which was shoddy filth.”

“Abysmal.”

“Insipid.”

“So we stole it.”

Uh-huh.

“It sold very well.”

“The ugly Kardashian wore one of the pieces.”

I think I’ve seen those pants before.

“We sold a pair to Bob Weir.”

“We told him they were a voluminous short.”

“Even though we despise the Grateful Dead.”

“We do need to make clear our hatred for, and condescension towards, the Grateful Dead.”

You’ve made it crystal clear. So, what exactly is this? Explain what “street fashion” is for the Enthusiasts who have been wearing the same pair of jeans since the first Bush administration.

“Street fashion is the style of the avenues, it is the look of the city.”

“Certain parts of the city.”

“Right, yes: the part where young people whose parents bought them an apartment live.”

“And John Mayer’s house.”

You know John?

“He knows us.”

“He is a valued client, but we still hate the Grateful Dead.”

“Hate them so much.”

“So much.”

Great. And how much is the sweatshirt?

“$480.”

How much? Jesus. Are there four hundred-dollar bills in the pocket?

“Don’t be such a poor person.”

“Our clothes are not for poor people.

“And it does not come in any sizes larger than Medium.”

“Our clothes are also not for fat people.”

Sure. I wish I could say I’ve enjoyed this. What’s next for Acne Studios?

“We’re really into microdosing.”

Shocker.

 

(Heads up on this came from FoTotD and award-winning author Chris Jennings, whose book Paradise Now does not cost $480.)

2 Comments

  1. Hope the whole of the pic comes through.

  2. Janko Jeans?? From 1995??

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