Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

An Important Announcement From Dead & Company

Oh, no.

“The Florida shows are back on.”

Bobby, do not invite Sammy Hagar to join the Grateful Dead.

“The show must go on.”

No. It truly doesn’t. Besides, “The show must go on” is propaganda. Vaudeville owners used to tell the acts that to get ’em to work while they were hurt.

“Huh. Is that true?”

Sounds plausible, doesn’t it?

“Sure. Listen, the Deadheads deserve a concert and Sammy’s available. He knows the songs.”

Does he?

“Three Lock Box of Rain.”

No.

“Eyes of the Best of Both Worlds.”

Nuh-uh.

“Well, don’t know what to say. He’s in. We took a vote.”

You took a vote?

“Well, the four of us who get votes did.”

You do realize how bad of a look it is to not allow Oteil a vote, right?

“Who?”

Black Phil.

“Hey, uh, White Phil didn’t get a vote either.”

Bobby, this is not a good idea.

“I think it is. And Sammy’s all in. Right, Sam?”

“WOO!”

“You heard him.”

“WOO!”

“Okay, Sam. I’ll tell him. Uh, Sammy doesn’t like your negativity.”

What? How did you get that from “WOO?”

“I can translate Sammy Hagar into English.”

“WOO!”

“Sure, Sam. I’d love a cup of coffee.”

“WOO!”

“Yes, I still do take it with cream and sugar. How thoughtful of you.”

“WOO!”

“You’re my best friend, too, Sammy Hagar.”

“WOO!”

“Except for Jimi Hendrix. Right, right.”

What the fuck is going on?

“Have you seen Guardians of the Galaxy?”

Sammy Hagar is not fucking Groot, Bobby.

“WOO!”

“Calm down, Red Rocker. He didn’t mean anything by it.”

“WOO!”

“You better wrap this post up. I don’t know how much longer I can keep him calm.”

Nothing fucking makes sense around here.

4 Comments

  1. Loose Lucy < WOO Jam < Loose Lucy < WOO Jam < Loose Lucy …

  2. six proud walkers on jinglebell rainbow
    Five men writing in fingers of gold
    Four men tracking down the great white sperm whale
    Treasure’s here, sunken there.
    Buried treasure’s everywhere.
    One, two, three lock box.

  3. Your Love Is Driving Me Crazy Fingers
    I Got the Fire on the Mountain
    Turn Up the Music Never Stopped
    Drums > Space Station #5.

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