Hey, Shithole. Whatcha doing?
“Just taking it one day at a time, brother.”
“Gotta stay positive in this gig.”
“I saw that!”
“I have a Google Alert set for my name.”
“Dude, I’m fuming. I am running hot, brother!”
I can understand.
“Why does Fat Tits need to bring me into his racist bullshit?”
“Shitholes are the least racist holes! Everybody’s equal when they’re squatting on me! Black ass, white ass, whatever: all I see is brown.”
That’s sweet. Disgusting, but sweet.
“I mean, sometimes it’s other colors, but that’s a medical thing, usually. Or someone ate a lot of beets.”
“I don’t wanna cosign that cocksucker’s racism, y’know?”
“Wait. I’m sorry. I take that back. He’s not a cocksucker.”
Good for you. Don’t sink to his vulgar level.
“Oh, it’s not that. It’s that sucking cock is an essentially unselfish act. Plus, can you imagine looking at the top of that fibrous whirl he calls a hairdo while it was happening? You’d be softer than a rich lady’s pillow.”
Don’t make me think about that.
“Well, I’m pissed, man. Glad I didn’t vote for the mutant.”
Who did you vote for?
“I wrote in McMullin.”