Hey, Amir Bar Lev, director of the long-awaited Grateful Dead documentary. Whatcha doing?
“What year is it? Where am I? Why is Pokemon back?”
You okay, buddy?
“I had Parish nail the door to the editing suite shut. I’ve been in there for…a while.”
“What’s that fiery thing?”
In the sky?
“It’s amazing. Have people thought about worshipping it?”
Amir, how is the project coming?
“It keeps expanding.”
“We bought Yahoo.”
No, you didn’t.
“We did. Martin Scorsese took his eye off the ball after Vinyl got canceled, so I took the bull by the horns. And then I ground the horns up into traditional boner medicine.”
Oh, please don’t say’–
“We got Chinese funding.”
–you got Chinese funding. Dammit.
“They have so much cash it’s unbelievable. I brought a tall, blond guy in a suit to the meeting and they threw an extra hundred million in. The Grateful Dead Cinematic Universe is a go, and Bobby is now being played by Matt Damon.”
“We’ve also started an animation division. It’s amazing how cheap Chinese animation is. It’s like they’ve eliminated labor costs.”
That’s because they’ve eliminated labor costs.
“Oh, that’s great: people drawing for the love of it.”
Amir, might this constant goalpost-moving be symptomatic of something else?
I dunno. Maybe you’re under a little pressure?
“Pressure? No pressure. All I have to do is make the most perfect piece of art ever created by anyone ever in the whole world. I can knock that out before lunch.”
“Also, Taylor Swift keeps calling and harassing me.”
She’ll stop. She’s dating Kim Jong-Un now.