Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Another Bella Figura

“Just explain to me your thought process while you were getting dressed.”

“Hey, man: some of  us don’t want to look like suburban dads.”

“I am a suburban dad. Did the pants come first or the scarf?”

“Scarf. The scarf is the fulcrum of the outfit.”

“And then the pants?”

“No, then the lipstick.”

“Right, yeah, the lipstick.”

“The shade is Canary Sparkle.”

“Awesome, pal.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m Page.”

“How long’s that thing anyway?”

“My dick?”

“The scarf.”

“Ah.”

“Why would I ask about your dick?”

“Lots of people ask me about my dick. I’m a rock star.”

“Yeah, I could tell by the pants.”

“My pants are awesome, Trey.”

“Your legs look like a yuppie’s living room from 1983.”

“I’m fashion forward.”

“You’re fashion forewarned.”

“Not clever.”

“Seriously: how long is the scarf? It looks like a blanket for a very thin person. Like, if Slenderman took a nap on the couch, that’s what he would cover himself up with.”

“I’m gonna walk back over there now.”

“Don’t trip on your giant scarf.”

“Blow me.”

4 Comments

  1. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    July 27, 2017 at 11:30 am

    Those pants – that’s what’s known as “razzle dazzle” camo.

  2. I swear I used to have a pair of Jams clamdiggers that looked exactly like Gordo’s. 80’s Rhode Island kid.

  3. “The scarf is the fulcrum of the outfit.”

    perfect

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