Dear The Internet:
I will never turn off my ad-blocker. I know I already wrote you one of these open letters stating my firmly-held and well-reasoned convictions about never turning off my ad-blocker, but you keep asking like a child hoping to wear down his mother and get a toy. You will not get a toy, The Internet.
Were I a stronger man, I would put you in a sack and drown you in a river, The Internet, just like unwanted puppies on a farm in the past, but I cannot do that, so instead I will download the strongest and least reasonable ad-blocker I can find, and I will keep that fucker updated to within an inch of its life. If you install an ad-blocker blocker, then I will fetch the handful of lines of code that defeats it.
You need to understand, The Internet, how this battle of attrition will end: with me not going to your site. There is no outcome in which your information is more important than not getting infected with the Russian computer-AIDS infesting all your filthy ads. I will give up on you–or simply find mirrored site, or a reprint of the article–before shutting off my ad-blocker.
I lock my door, The Internet, because the world is full of bad actors and the hungry; you cannot have a key.