Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Another Successful Grindr Match

“Vhy are du vearing vhite? Vhite is mein color.”

“Benny, I can’t have-a dis argument with-a you no more. I’m-a da Pope now.”

“Du ist Fake Pope.”

“You gotta stop watching da Fox News. It’s-a warping your mind.”

“Ich bein Pope again. Ich called it.”

“You can’t-a call it. Is-a not like-a da shotgun.”


“Benny, you’re-a making da fool of-a yourself.”

“Du ist ein Globalist.”

“Si, si.”

“Du admit it?”

“Sure, whole-a globe. I tell-a everybody about-a da Jesus.”

“Vhat about putting ze Vatican first?”

“Because legally, only me and-a you live here.”

“Ja. Vhat is problem?”

“Benny…you just-a don’t get it.”

“Deine Oma masturbiert im stehen!”

“Okay, sure.”

“Ich am leaving. Ich have to catch ein plane.”

“Where-a you going?”

“Ich am giving ein speech at Berkeley.”

“That-a sounds right.”

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