Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Audition

Okay, E.H.?

The Dead was a good band, fine and manly. They first met as volunteer firemen in the Boer War. That was a fine war: manly as all wars were, except the French-Indian War, which was some totally homo shit.

Okay, we’re fine with stretching the truth, but that’s just wrong.

But I look like your guitar player.

Thank you. Next: E.D.?

When Etna purrs

I tremble

Have not left my room

since I discovered the Archive

So, it’s just poetry and frilly blouses and your meals being brought to you, right?

Essentially.

Thank you, sweetie. Next: R.H.

The Dead were like my testicles: hairy and they knew how to swing, man. Check out this MONSTERLICKER–

You sound familiar.

–of a show from 2/15/70 in Philly, that I haven’t actually listened to yet, just pretty much picked at random and will bother you with P.S.’s about in the coming hours.

Ah, fuck it: it’s you. I thought Billy…?

Oh, hells yeah, he worked my sack: I’ll never play the harmonica again, but as it turns out, you can’t truly fire me.

Why not.

We are the same person. It’s just…it’s just that the fonts change, buddy.

Buddy?

Why won’t you play along?

Oh, I’m sorry, man.

You always–

–You’re right–

you do this–

I know.

And it’s why we can’t have fun, y’know?

So, let’s have fun!

I want to go skiing.

We’re gonna go skiing.

YOU KNOW I HATE SKIING!

OKAY, EVERYONE OUT OF THE POOL.

1 Comment

  1. It scares me that I read this blog religiously. More so, I think, that I understand you when you go far off the rails. It occurs to me that only the “initiated” can follow along with all the dick punching and Hogan’s Heroes cultural bias. These bloggings instill a paradoxical sense of deep isolation and brotherhood.

    I was reading about Scientology last night because it freaks me out, but every once in a while I have to think about it along with the Big Questions about what Tom Cruise and John Travolta have to gain by hiding their homosexuality. And I saw that Tom Constanten is listed as a celebrity Scientologist. Still. Hunter was involved in that, too, but he got out. After the LSD experiments. You must blog about this.

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