Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Autostopista Dulce



“You’re on with John.”

“That’s the best so far, but it’s still so awful.”

“Katy, how–

“Where the fuck are you, John? Things have gotten very weird and I need rescuing.”

“Where are you?”

katy perry lake titcaca.jpg

“Near boats.”

“Can you be more specific?”

“No, John. All the ninjas are dead and I am near boats.”

“That might be the first time that sentence has even been said.”


“We’re loading up the Earthroamer. We’re on our way.”

earthroamer snapchat big

“I thought you were taking Bobby’s tour bus.”

“We only have one picture of it.”


“Josh! Let’s get this show on the road. Burning daylight here.”

“Coming, Bob! We’re coming, Katyfingers.”

“Don’t call me that. The boats are talking about me, John.”

“Good things?”

“I don’t speak boat.”

“Sit tight.”


“I’m driving, Bob.”

“Read your contract.”


“And I get control of the radio, too. Do you know there’s a show tune channel?”


“Jim Fixx has a channel and it’s just black guys telling jokes.”

“Jamie Foxx. Bob.”

“Cousin Brucie, too.”

“Bobby, who is the man in the back of the Earthroamer?”

“Si me traicionas, a continuación, te mataré.”

“Oh, that’s El Guapo.”


“From the movie.”


“‘It’s a sweater!’ Remember that part?”

“Bob, that’s El Chapo. The Mexican crime lord who keeps escaping from prison.”

“Hola. Te mataré.”

“Yeah, Mexican crime lord, right. His hair isn’t curly anymore, and that’s a shame. Funny hair.”

“Can we just go get Katy and let the weirdness in the back of the Earthroamer take care of itself?”


“Let’s motorvate.”

“All right.”

“Hey, Josh.”

“Please dont ask me–

“Do you know what a plethora is?”

“–if I know what…dammit, I’m calling Irving when we get home.”

“Te mataré, Yosh.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“See! Still funny.”

1 Comment

  1. you said “motorvate”

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