Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To


“Hey, Thoughts on my Ass! Look at this little fucker!”

Cute kid.

“You see this curl?”

I see that curl.

“Holy shit, this curl. I’m gonna eat him.”



It doesn’t work that way.

“It does. You know Rob Lowe?”

Not personally.

“Good buddy of mine. Our friendship could actually be a wonderful example to the world of how people with differing views can still get along.”

Right, he’s a Republican or something.

“Nah, fuck politics. It’s that I’m a skankman and he’s a poonhound.”

I have no idea what that means.

“The man prefers poon. Poon! In this day and age.”

Billy, poon and skank are the same thing.

“What are you, an idiot?”

That’s unnecessary.

“This is grade school stuff, man. I bet the baby knows.”

Don’t ask the baby.

“I oughta Robin this kid.”

Do not make the child an orphan and raise him in a cave, Billy.

“I got so much to teach! Drums. Tantrums. When to deploy strategic anti-Semitism. And, obviously, the rules of being a skankman.”

There are rules?

“Oh, yeah. It’s just like being a gentleman, only you gotta throw away your sheets a lot more often.”

Don’t teach the kid anything, Billy.

“Yeah, nah. I’m gonna Robin him.”



  1. You gotta admit, Nigel Burbridge is a pretty sweet ass name

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