Hey, Bobby. Whatcha doing?
“Thinking about growing out my bangs.”
Don’t do that.
“They look good on whoever this is. Karen O.?”
No. Nikki Bluhm.
“Both of those names are spelled wrong.”
I’m not in charge of other people’s names.
“What about Precarious?”
He’s not real.
“I just had lunch with him.”
“I think I have the face to pull off bangs.”
You don’t. Don’t grow bangs.
“What about beard bangs?”
Not a thing.
You look fine, Bobby. What you’ve got is working for you.
“I know, sure, but you wanna switch things up every once in a while. Keeps things new in the bedroom.”
You think your wife–
–will like you with bangs?
“Yup, yup. She’s, uh, a big Betty Page fan.”
Think this one through, buddy.
“Well, you know, hair grows pretty slow. I got a few months to make my mind up.”
I’m sure you’ll make the right decision.
“Or maybe a fashy.”
The bangs would be better.