Hey, Pig. Whatcha doing?
“Smoke, smoke, smokin’ my cigarette! Nothin’ better!”
What about booze and black chicks?
“Awright, some things are better. Heh heh.”
Who’s that you’re standing with? It’s not Veronica Barnard.
“Dunno her name, but the ol’ Pig’s gonna get her number! Kinda looks like Tootie from Facts of Life.”
Please stop using the Time Sheath to watch teevee.
“Hell, no! Loves me some teevee, but they’re just ain’t enough channels at the present! Gotta look to the future for my entertainment!”
So, you’ve got the entirety of teevee history to choose from and you’re watching Facts of Life?
“Other stuff, too. The Pig likes to flip.”
“Real Housewives of Atlanta.”
You just have a crush on Kim Fields.
“Heh hehe. Yeah, a little.”
Please don’t travel through time to hit on Tootie.
“Don’t be settin’ no boundaries on the ol’ Pig now!”
I’m putting my foot down.
“Foot’s gonna be floatin’ pretty soon.”
What was that?
“Aw, I’m jus’ teasin’ ya.”
“Wind gonna kill ya, not the water.”
“Hey, it happens, it happens. Happened to me! Shit, brother: you die, you can hang out with me.”
“We’ll watch some teevee together. Smoke some cigarettes, drink some whiskey, and tell some lies.”
That sounds okay, actually.
Always nice to talk to you, pal.
“I know! I’m the life of the damn party!”