Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To


Hey, Pig. Whatcha doing?

“Smoke, smoke, smokin’ my cigarette! Nothin’ better!”

What about booze and black chicks?

“Awright, some things are better. Heh heh.”

Who’s that you’re standing with? It’s not Veronica Barnard.

“Dunno her name, but the ol’ Pig’s gonna get her number! Kinda looks like Tootie from Facts of Life.”

Please stop using the Time Sheath to watch teevee.

“Hell, no! Loves me some teevee, but they’re just ain’t enough channels at the present! Gotta look to the future for my entertainment!”

So, you’ve got the entirety of teevee history to choose from and you’re watching Facts of Life?

“Other stuff, too. The Pig likes to flip.”

Like what?

Livin’ Single.”


“Real Housewives of Atlanta.”

You just have a crush on Kim Fields.

“Heh hehe. Yeah, a little.”

Please don’t travel through time to hit on Tootie.

“Don’t be settin’ no boundaries on the ol’ Pig now!”

I’m putting my foot down.

“Foot’s gonna be floatin’ pretty soon.”

What was that?

“Aw, I’m jus’ teasin’ ya.”

Thank you.

“Wind gonna kill ya, not the water.”

Jesus, man.

“Hey, it happens, it happens. Happened to me! Shit, brother: you die, you can hang out with me.”


“We’ll watch some teevee together. Smoke some cigarettes, drink some whiskey, and tell some lies.”

That sounds okay, actually.

“Beats workin’!”

Always nice to talk to you, pal.

“I know! I’m the life of the damn party!”


  1. Pig is the only one you don’t ridicule in some way. and that is just exactly perfect.

    ….and if you didn’t get my donation, go yell at PayPal).

  2. “Smoke some cigarettes, drink some whiskey, and tell some lies.” Ha! Tell ’em, Pig! Damn you, whiskey. You ain’t no good, but you feel so good.

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