Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Beginning Of A Great Adventure


“You ever feel alone in a crowd?”

Don’t start.

“Like everyone else knows what’s happening and you don’t?”

I got, like, 90 pictures of you from the Phish show. If you’re going to be weird, it’s going to be a long night.

“Did you ever feel like a plastic bag?”


“Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?”

I’m begging you not to be weird tonight.

“Do you like my unicorn costume?”

More of a hoodie than a costume, but it’s okay.

“God, I’m looking forward to washing it.”

Hey. Jackass?


No, Scuba Steve behind you.

“Don’t call me jackass.”

Then stop being one. You are a unicorn, not a jackass.

“A sexy unicorn.”

A unicorn. And y’know what? I’m under a lot of pressure right now. Everyone saw these pictures and said to themselves, “Oh, I bet TotD will have some quality japery to accompany these shots,” and right now? Right now, buddy? I got nothing.

“You’re clearly throwing dialogue into a void hoping something will spark an idea.”

I know, right? Everyone can see it, and I want to kill it for all the nice Enthusiasts, but this has to be a team effort. Stop moping around.

“What if I met some randos?”

Great. You do that. I’m gonna drink too much coffee and stall for time with a picture of Bobby in short shorts.

“Good plan. All hands in?

Absolutely not.



  1. you had me at “I’m looking forward to washing it.”

  2. Mike & Gloria Gonna Be My Name

    November 1, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    Admit I came here for this exact japery.

  3. It feels like x’mas eve up in here when you only get to open one present and have to wait for morning for the main event…

    I got my popcorn ready

  4. It’s because you’re starting to like him more, you realize that, right?

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