Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Betsy DeVos Answers From Today’s Hearings, Out Of Context

  • “Thank you for that question, Senator. I believe that Muslim children deserve to learn about Jesus Christ, as well.”
  • “I’m sorry, but you said school ‘bus?’ I’ve not heard this word before. Is it short for something? School business? I would love to talk about school business.”
  • “Fourth grade is the one after third, am I getting that correct?”
  • “I have yet to hear a good argument why schools shouldn’t provide value for their shareholders.”
  • “Microchipping the children is not off the table.”
  • “There’s a lot of discussion about whether education is a right or an entitlement.”
  • “Senator, I resent that implication; I most certainly have stepped foot in a public high school. I had mistaken it for a Friendly’s, but that still counts.”
  • “I think federal law should be left up to the states.”
  • “At least six elementary schools are beset by wolves every year, Senator. The mainstream media doesn’t report that. Dozens of children eaten, plus the class hamster. If every teacher was required to carry an uzi, then all of those children would be alive today. And the hamster.”
  • “I thank you for that question, and believe that, uh, yes we should have standards. It is very important for everyone to hold him or herself to a standard. High one, real high. Ohhhh, teaching standards. Yes, I think teachers should have standards, too. Thank you for the question.”
  • “Yes, I do have absolutely no experience in public education and my brother controls an army of mercenaries. Why do you ask?”
  • “There are some scenarios in which I can see putting the children into a Hunger Games-type situation.”
  • “Turning the nation’s hall monitors into a paramilitary group is a sound decision.”
  • “In a suburb of Cleveland, a grizzly bear masqueraded as a chemistry teacher for an entire semester. That bear gained the school’s trust, and then it ate the entire marching band. That could not have happened if we armed the drum majors.”

10 Comments

  1. Tuesday Jackson

    January 18, 2017 at 7:12 am

    Deo gratias.

  2. Those might as well had been her answers. A little over 48 hours until Doomsday.

  3. Clean your guns.

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