Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Better Dead Than Red

Billy once met a card-carrying member of the American Communist Party. (The card had been laminated and everything.) For once, Billy decided to use violence to teach a lesson, instead of just to pass the time or mark his territory or get himself thrown out of history museums.

“Wow, a real-life Commie! I gotta magic trick for ya, Marxy: I can make my fist intangible, pass it through your body, and withdraw it with no harm to you whatsoever.”

Then Billy punched the communist in the dick.

“Huh. It’s such a great trick on paper, but in real life it’s terrible,” Billy said. “Maybe if I tried it again.”

And Billy punched collectivist dick once more.

“That’s so weird,” Billy said. “The theory behind it is so sound…”

The communist did not understand Billy’s point, because if he were good at understanding things, he wouldn’t have been a commie in the first place.

1 Comment

  1. Anchovy Rancher

    December 1, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    “Pass it through your body. Added points for: Dick Punch!”

    “Yay! Billy! Dick-Puncher!”

    I still want to know: “Who got the fucking Rice-A-Roni?”

    Not me, apparently. Not that I “wanted” the crap anyway… Not that I deserved to “win” or anything.

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