Tennessee Dennis the Friendliest Dentist thought that the quickest way to the heart was through the bicuspids. His office gleamed, and he had the cleanest hygienists. He did not charge extra for the laughing gas, and he always had extra laughing gas. Tennessee Dennis also had the only vibrating dentist’s chair anyone had ever seen, though he would not turn it on while he worked, even for an extra twenty bucks. Not after the incident with Mr. Drake.
We do not have teeth, Tennessee Dennis would tell his patients. They are the soldiers of the mouth, he would say, and no one knew what the hell he was talking about.
No one knows what the hell you’re talking about.
Don’t “Oh, hey” me. This is just weird.
“I no understand it, Hot Dog Dick.”
You can’t be here!
“Where you going with dentist bit?”
I don’t need notes from you, thank you.
“Want to see all Hillary Clinton texts?”
Stop hacking us, please.
“Bill make her so maaaaaad.”
I don’t want to know.
“Use many knife and gun emoji. My father invent emoji.”
He was a busy guy. Go away.
“You want see all Josh Meyer texts?”
Holy shit, yes I do.
“Summer of skank.”
Don’t call it that.