Billy, are you guys playing in an asbestos museum?
“No such luck. Salt Lake City.”
Yeesh.
“Gotta bring your own hooch. And skank! Went to a whorehouse here once, and they give you tuggers behind a Zion curtain.”
Why?
“Elders think if you look at your own dick too much, you’ll turn sissy.”
That’s not how it works.
“I know, right? I love looking at my dick, and I’m straight as shit. Hell, it’s my phone’s wallpaper.”
Why?
“Cheers me up. I see it and think, ‘I’m gonna stick that somewhere soon,’ and I smile.”
Awesome.
“You can get skank here, but it’s got all different rules. You can have as much skank as you can satisfy. They call it plural skank.”
Polygamy, Billy. You’re describing polygamy.
“I’m describing one chick in an ankle-length dress working my shaft, and another one working my fire exit.”
Ew.
“Sister-skank.”
Double ew. How’s the tour going?
“All the checks have cleared so far.”
A success.
“Yup.”
Wait. You went to a whorehouse in Salt Lake City? What was it called?
“Brigham Tongue’s.”
I’ll have to stop by.
“Bring money and your dick.”
Good advice.
“I’m describing one chick in an ankle-length dress working my shaft, and another one working my fire exit.”
Gotta admit, I’m really looking forward to the song that accompanies this scene in the GD musical …