The only bright spot on Twitter last night was Bill Walton’s Excellent Adventure through China. He was there to announce a basketball game of some sort and between the jet lag and foreign food, not to mention the distress of missing tour, Bill may have gone a bit stream of consciousness.
Assorted Quotes from Walton at Last Night’s College Basketball Game in China:
- “It’s something being over here, man. I won’t lie: I have stepped on a number of these people. They are very small.”
- “China is ancient.”
- “China is big.”
- “I mean, we’ll be here a week and we won’t be able to see it all.”
- “The whole country–now get this–the whole country is on one time zone; that’s just crazy.”
- “Cuz that leads to, you know: guy asks another guy, ‘What time is it?’ and the other guy’s like ‘I dunno, ask some guy in Beijing.'”
- “Which used to be Peking, don’t forget.”
- “Speaking of peaking, the Dead never played China, but Pigpen did used to sing a song called Chinatown Shuffle.”
- “I posed with Buddha!”
- “And then I posed with other things!”
- “I don’t think they were Buddhas: they were Chinese as all get-out, though.”
- “Man, they’ve been feeding me some weird stuff.”
- “I’ve been trying to come up with a good lesson from Coach Wooden, but his views on the Asiatic races were very much of a different generation.”
- “I got chance to visit with my good friend Yao Ming.”
- “Helluva guy, Yao. Government pretty much bred him, y’know? Great big lady, great big fella, get ’em together, that kinda thing.”
- “I’d be surprised if they weren’t making people in labs now, the Chinese.”
- “Lot of business here, but also a very spiritual people.”
- “Both those things.”
- “Godawful far away from home: you could not walk it.”
Never change Ambassador Walton. Never change.
“…oh, wait, NIXON came here…? Oh, FUCK this place! I”m OUT!!!!”
(mic drop)
https://emerdelac.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/big-trouble-03.jpg
“Also, Dude, “Chinaman” is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.”