Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Bill Trouble In Little China

The only bright spot on Twitter last night was Bill Walton’s Excellent Adventure through China. He was there to announce a basketball game of some sort and between the jet lag and foreign food, not to mention the distress of missing tour, Bill may have gone a bit stream of consciousness.

Assorted Quotes from Walton at Last Night’s College Basketball Game in China:

  • “It’s something being over here, man. I won’t lie: I have stepped on a number of these people. They are very small.”
  • “China is ancient.”
  • “China is big.”
  • “I mean, we’ll be here a week and we won’t be able to see it all.”
  • “The whole country–now get this–the whole country is on one time zone; that’s just crazy.”
  • “Cuz that leads to, you know: guy asks another guy, ‘What time is it?’ and the other guy’s like ‘I dunno, ask some guy in Beijing.'”
  • “Which used to be Peking, don’t forget.”
  • “Speaking of peaking, the Dead never played China, but Pigpen did used to sing a song called Chinatown Shuffle.”
  • “I posed with Buddha!”
  • IMG_2763
  • “And then I posed with other things!”
  • IMG_2764
  • “I don’t think they were Buddhas: they were Chinese as all get-out, though.”
  • “Man, they’ve been feeding me some weird stuff.”
  • “I’ve been trying to come up with a good lesson from Coach Wooden, but his views on the Asiatic races were very much of a different generation.”
  • “I got  chance to visit with my good friend Yao Ming.”
  • IMG_2760
  • “Helluva guy, Yao. Government pretty much bred him, y’know? Great big lady, great big fella, get ’em together, that kinda thing.”
  • “I’d be surprised if they weren’t making people in labs now, the Chinese.”
  • “Lot of business here, but also a very spiritual people.”
  • “Both those things.”
  • “Godawful far away from home: you could not walk it.”


  1. Never change Ambassador Walton. Never change.

  2. “…oh, wait, NIXON came here…? Oh, FUCK this place! I”m OUT!!!!”
    (mic drop)

  3. “Also, Dude, “Chinaman” is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.”

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