Hey, Mrs. Donna Jean. Whatcha doing?

“Doin’ mah part, sugar.”

You’re a patriotic American, ma’am.

“Course ah am. Ain’t no one loves America more’n a Southerner.”

Except for those couple years.

“‘Cept f’r them couple years, yeah. Water under the dam, sugar.”

But if water gets under a dam, it destabilizes the entire structure.

“Mama knows what she said.”

California has to be a lot different from Alabama.

“That’s right. Spelled all diff’rent, first of all.”

Sure.

“Have t’ drive in a diff’rent direction t’ get t’ the ocean.”

That, too.

“Zip code ain’t th’ same at all.”

I meant the cultural markers.

“I gotcha. Well, you know them ol’ Black Panthers?”

I do.

“There’s a reason they ain’t from Alabama, sugar.”

Someone would’ve put a stop to that, huh?

“Multiple someones. An’ a sudden stop, too. Woulda happened overnight.”

Jeez.

“Don’tchoo blaspheme in here.”

Sorry, Mrs. Donna Jean.