Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Block, Head

“Now, uh, tell me what you’re showing me here.”

“It’s a hat, Bobby.”

“Uh-huh. Smart hat?”

“For one sense of the word ‘smart.’ But for others, no.”

“I’m asking about Bluetooth.”


“So how does it connect to my watch?”

“It doesn’t.”

“Interesting. How vegan is this hat?”


“Not at all?”

“Literally everything on this garment comes from a dead animal.”

“Well, you know: I admire consistency. If my sister-in-law–”

“Lillian Monster.”

“–asks, tell her it’s made from tofu or something.”



“Bobby, is your Tesla staring in the window threateningly?”

“Uh, yeah. It’s gone full chaotic evil. I gotta take it in to the shop.”


  1. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    August 2, 2017 at 10:10 am

    I kept telling Bob to get a hat with a wider brim – he would look better in it.

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    August 2, 2017 at 7:02 pm

    Pith helmet’s where it’s at Bob.

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