“I’m graduating from high school!”
You’re pushing 70.
“Well, you know: it’s one of those honorary things. I got thrown out of the dump for smoking doobies in the chemistry lab.”
But, now that you’re a big fancy-pants…
“Welcome back, Favorite Son. Right, yeah. Way of the world.”
You don’t have much formal education, do you?
“Well, I dropped out of school at 16 to join the circus. And, you know: it wasn’t like I was a real scholar before that, either. Couldn’t read a lick. Dyslexia, you know the story.”
“Later on, I got a lot of knowledge by helping out stone-cold teen foxes with their homework in between bangings.”
“Threw out your back tying your shoes?”
“Wanna make fun of my sandals, jackass?”