Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Bobbys That Our Bobby Is Better Than

Bobby Fischer There’s not enough room on the innertubes for me to list all the reasons Bobby Weir is a superior human being to Bobby Fischer in every possible way. Wait: Bobby Fischer is better at chess; our Bobby would get creamed in six moves. Everything else, though.

Bobby Flay Bobby Flay has no honor, and he disrespects both his tools and Kitchen Stadium; Bob Weir is a better Bobby. Plus: all celebrity chefs should be thrown in a pit full of hungry mountain lions.

Bobby “The Brain” Heenan Bob Weir never managed Big John Studd, so he wins.

Bobby Shmurda Well, our Bobby is certainly a lot more societally lucky than Bobby Shmurda, let’s say that. You think a creative prosecutor couldn’t have put together a RICO charge against the Dead? Would have been a lot more reality-based than the one against Shmurda.

Bobby Cannavale Don’t get me wrong: I like Bobby Cannavale, but he only has one trick, and plus he was in Vinyl, and I’m going to make fun of that show until I die. (They made the record company asshole the hero!) Point: Bobby.

Bobby McFerrin C’mon, now.

Bobby Jindal Ditto.

Bobby Jones (golfer) Bob Weir does not golf, nor did he found a restricted golf course, so this one’s not a contest.

Bobby Jones (gospel singer) While Bobby Jones the gospel singer did not found a restricted golf course, I have no idea who he is, so I will declare Bobby Weir the champion of this bout.

But, Enthusiasts, there may be some Bobbys that our Bobby is not better than; I’m not making the call on these, you can argue it in the Comments Section in between yelling at me for not seeing Phish (who are killing it right now).

Bobby Clarke, Orr, Hull I don’t know why so many Canadians come to this site, but they do and I’d hate to alienate them, so maybe these hockey bozos are better than the guitar bozo. (Or was Bobby a bolo?)

Bobby Darin Bobby Darin was a supremely talented motherfucker; he could do anything, and he cut Mack the Knife in one take. At best, this is a tie.

Bobby Byrd Bobby Byrd discovered James Brown. Nuff said.


  1. Bobby Blue Bland?

  2. bobby orr

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