Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To



Well, obviously if there’s a song called Faster Then The Speed Of Night that I haven’t heard, I’m going to check it out. Having done so, I must recommend spending the next three minutes and forty-five seconds gazing in wild wonder at what the 80’s hath wrought: under-the-radar homoeroticism, video arcades, billowy tunics, armored knights jousting on dirt bikes, and effects brought to you from the good folks at Video Toaster.

There is also a beefcake-type fellow in a Speedo fighting off ninjas; the beefcake’s weapon of choice is a piece of wood shaped like a Gibson Explorer and painted like Eddie Van Halen’s guitar.

You should watch it.

WARNING: The song is not good. I need to state this as plainly as possible. Nothing about it works: it’s got all the Jim Steinman ingredients–dramatic shifts in dynamics, soaring choruses, semi-clever wordplay–but whereas on Total Eclipse or Bat Out of Hell* they gel into gleefully overwrought camp, this is a mess.

Still, though: watch it.


  1. Jesus H. Christ In A Chicken Basket.
    I missed all of this
    Because I was an acid taking freak on grateful dead tour.
    wow.. I actually have something to really be thankful for besides w00king out on a hot Jerry Solo

  2. This has all the makings of a blockbuster(in Canada), and you are just the man to write/direct/produce/market it. I can’t stop laughing.

  3. That other witch, or whatever she is, looks pretty cool. Also, I’d like to play Heathen.

  4. For me, “Bonnier” always means the great Swedish racer Jo Bonnier

    But that’s me

  5. Luther Von Baconson

    April 28, 2016 at 11:32 am

    so Boss. obsessed now.

  6. Luther Von Baconson

    April 28, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    guitar buddy’s Michael Lang, Woodstock buddy, no?

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