We need to keep up with the times, gents! What if we made like The Ramones and all changed our last name to “Grateful Dead?” I would be Bobby Grateful Dead, Bobby said.

Last names should be easy to spell, Billy said.

Doesn’t that sound a bit Jewish, Mickey said?

Can everyone pronounce it on the first try, Keith and Mrs. Donna Jean said, then went back to choking each other.

No batter, no batter, Phil said because he had skipped the meeting to watch a softball game.

What’s a last name? Pig said.