Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Call It Sleep Train

deadandco poster chula vista



“What are the ideas for the Choo-choo Valley poster?”

“Chula Vista, sir.”

“Churro Vichyssoise.”

“Chula Vista.”

“Chewy Vagina.”

“Chewy Vagina, sir? Really?”

“It’s California, Jenkins. Maybe it’s Spanish for something.”

“Can we get to the poster, sir?”

“I was thinking about letting my nine-year-old make this one.”

“She’s made the last several, sir.”

“She’s very advanced. Smarter than me.”

“I thought you said she was advanced, sir.”


“Nothing, sir. The poster. I had ideas beyond entrusting it to a child and clip art.”

“It wasn’t clip art, Jenkins.”


“It was an app.”

“Uh-huh. Anyway, the idea is this: let’s get an artist. Someone who can draw. With a pencil. And we’ll have the artist draw something simple, but–and here’s the key to the whole plan sir–it will be drawn well. Like, the shading will be right ,and the proportions will be correct, and also lots of little scribbly stuff in the details. Basically, the idea is to have the image be attractive to the eye.”

“How will I break this to Little Susie?”

“Your daughter’s name is Francine, sir.”

“I was talking about my mistress, Jenkins.”

“Sir, I need you to concentrate.”

“That’s what Little Susie says, too. Jenkins, am I a dreamer?”

“Sir, please just let me produce one beautiful poster on this tour. Just one. All I’m asking, sir.”

“Oh, if you’re going to whine about it: fine.”

“Thank you, sir!”

“Make sure the bears are on it.”

“I’ll find a place for them, sir.”

“And go fire my daughter.”

“Yes, sir.”


  1. recently spotted 7 other people wearin the same dancin bear $5 tie-dye I had on that summer day. all the bears are sayin is give peace a chance and let’s dance. still can’t figure out who was the creative genius behind alpine valley poster.

  2. I think I got the best one.

  3. That is were the bears belong, a footnote, a watermark, a printers flourish, an added touch. Not the center of attention, not piloting a boat, or a car or riding horses.

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